Bullying Posted May 4th 2013 |
Nicki Crick discovered that bullying occurs as early as the preschool years in a hallmark study in 1999. Dr. Crick defines bullying as intentionally causing physical or emotional/social harm to one’s peers. In short, it is peer victimization. Christina Short, another bullying expert, defines bullying as “aggressive behavior that is aimed at hurting, intimidating, or controlling others through physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, real or imagined.” Boys are more likely to be victims of physical aggression and girls are usually victims of relational aggression. Both types of aggression are likely to leave victims with emotional and social issues with their growth and development.
There are some methods for handling aggression and bullying in the early years of preschool and elementary school and beyond. They are as follows:
- Increase and support cross-racial/ethnic friendship;
- Increase and support high-quality peer friendship;
- Foster social skills and social competence;
- Use reflective listening;
- Name, define, and talk about feelings;
- Use perspective taking and help the bully understand the victim;
- Use problem solving;
- Build trust and community in the classroom;
- Give children a chance to be open and honest in real life and through dramatic play;
- Model and teach advocacy against bullying;
Additional information on bullying and cyberbullying in schools, and what parents and educators can do about it can be found at
http://www.stopbullying.gov
Were you or anyone close to you ever bullied? How did adults (parents, caregivers, teachers, directors, principals) in the situation handle it? Could any of the suggestions given in this blog have been helpful? |
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| Reply from Brianne Moreno posted on May 18th 2014 |
| Starting in Kindergarten, my nephew was daily getting bullied by this other little boy named Jack. Jack was calling him names like "chocolate man" and "darky" and my nephew did not know how to deal with it. The following year in the first grade, the bullying kept going on and finally my nephew jus had it. He was so fustrated and angry with the boy that he started to punch Jack repeatedly and kept hitting him with a sweater. They both got called up to the office and my nephew was suspended. We told him that even though this little boy was bullying him, hitting and punching him was not the answer and that whenever he felt he was being bullied by the little boy, to tell the yard duty, or the teacher. My sister went up to the principals office to talk to her about not placing the two boys both in the same classroom the upcoming year. That next year, they were finally separated and there were no more problems. I think we could have used problem solving a little sooner than it initially happened. |
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| Reply from carissa posted on February 14th 2014 |
| I came from a school that had a lot of verbal bullying. The faculty would hold many assemblies to help correct the issues that were happening in school. When seeing the situations before my own eyes, I find that those children that resort to bullying someone else typically come from a unsettling home life, or even suffer of confidence issues within themselves. |
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| Reply from Phyllis Eggan posted on August 24th 2013 |
| Bullying
I was bullied as an adult by a co-worker. Or rather I should say an attempted bullying. He and his wife were both pressuring me to do something unethical only to make themselves look better (they even admitted that). When I refused, he lost his temper, his face turned red and distorted; he threatened, questioned my sanity and integrity (which I thought was ironic), accused me of things I had not done, and told me he was going to blame anything bad that happened to him on me. I did not budge on my refusal to participate, and he kept his word by publically accusing me of a lack of sanity and integrity. I do not believe anything on that list would help a person who believed everything they did or wanted to do was right and perfect. Hitler, for example. When self-righteousness and power are combined, bullying will follow. I saw bullying at preschool all the time. In trying to help the bully understand the victim, failure; naming, defining and talking about feelings and teaching some problem solving skills to the entire class all year long, some success.
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| Reply from Cheryl posted on August 22nd 2013 |
| I don't remember ever being bullied. I had a lot of friends growing up and never seemed to get to that stage where people picked on me, and that is surprising because I was/am overweight. I look back on it now and think that maybe it had to have something to do with the way I acted? The way I conducted myself? I was secure in who I was, I was very friendly to everyone, and I am hoping to raise my own kids to have that confidence.
It seems like bullying is worse now, at least it is for my nephew who is a prime target. He attends a local middle school where bullying is not exactly on the staff's radar, or it happens so frequently that they tend to look the other way. He has been verbally bullied since the day he set foot on the campus as a 6th grader (he's in 7th grade now). He's had his things stolen, broken and thrown on the ground. He's been pushed on the ground, and with great reluctance- has reported it to the principal. But the principal "talked to the boys, and they said they were just playing with him and he fell on his own". I think these ideas of handling aggression are great suggestions for the preschool, Kindergarten, maybe even 1st and 2nd grade level, but what about Junior High kids? Unfortunately my nephew does not have the confidence and social skills to remove him from a Bully's radar. What can I do to help him? He is in Boy Scouts and socially excels in that environment, maybe because he is comfortable in it. I keep thinking of that one teacher who decided to do a lesson with the children on discrimination, and discriminated on her own students based on their eye color. Is there a less abrasive way to incorporate some of the ideas from this study to implement in a middle school? I know I am supposed to reply with ideas on how to stop bullying, but maybe I am in need of some advice instead.
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| Reply from Byanca posted on August 22nd 2013 |
| Carmen Rodriguez-
I have not experienced bullying first hand but I have seen some children being bullied at the elementary school where I work. They take bullying very seriously at this elementary school and have assemblies and red ribbon weeks so that the children are aware that bullying is not okay. Last year one of the teachers fourth grade classes was one of the worst classes that she had seen in quite some time. A lot of the kids were mean and they bullied each other. The teacher would put videos and testimonials of other children their age that had experienced bullying and how they felt about the situation. The teacher wanted to build trust among the students in the classroom and model and teach advocacy against bullying. I remember she did a reader theater's on bullying and it is basically a play that the children act out. The children are able to be in both positions of being bullied and also being the bully. It is important for teachers to make children aware of how it feels to be bullied and make them realize that it is not okay. |
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| Reply from kristy posted on August 22nd 2013 |
| My daughter was bullied in kindergarten. We moved half way through the school year, she was already upset about leaving her old class and moving to a new school. Then she met a little girl that would tell her that she was stupid, and she didn't know anything because she was new, and constantly bullied her about being new. My daughter talked to me about it first, and we talked together about what was happening before the behavior would happen, was it group time, work time, outside time. We tried to get an idea of what was happening so we could judge whether this was something that was innocent, and the little girl didn't know she was being so hurtful, or if it was intentional. After weeks of coming home from school with her feelings hurt, we talked to the teacher. The teacher had a meeting with the child, and tried to help her understand how my daughter was feeling. Her teacher also did some modeling in the class and role playing about bullying, and then asked the children how that would make them feel. With the teachers help we were able to resolve the issue, and the other little girl and my daughter ended up being friends. Many of the suggestions in this blog were used, and they were helpful in resolving the issue. I believe they were successful because many of these steps seem very age appropriate through early childhood. |
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| Reply from tina posted on August 22nd 2013 |
| One of my twins was bullied in thefirst grade! The child would throw his stuff in the trash can or stand in front of Nathan's hook where he put his backpack just to cause problems. This little boy would come up to the car at pick up and say nasty things to my boys. His mother was too busy playing with her iPad to notice what was going on. I finally had to have a meeting with school staff and honestly do not feel as if enough was done to stop this child. It was so bad that Nathan did not want to return to second grade because my boys were in the FLES program and so was this child. The best news we ever got was that he moved away! |
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| Reply from Carolyn posted on August 21st 2013 |
| I have been bullied in my lifetime. Adults told me to ignore it, the “sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” approach. Teaching anti-bullying starts at home with the parents. They should model the “treat others as you would want to be treated” method. Parents should teach children to never make fun of others no matter what. Teach children to have empathy and put their selves in other peoples’ shoes. Children should think about: what if it was them that were being made fun of, how would they feel? Parents and teacher s need to teach that all people want to feel accepted. Helpful methods for teachers include: increase & support high quality peer friendships and cross racial / ethnic friendships, social skills training for children, dramatic play and name, define and talk about feelings. |
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| Reply from april lopez posted on August 20th 2013 |
| There are a couple instances I can recall from my childhood that may be classified as "bullying". A friend of mine said everyone was idolizing me and she didn't like it so she recruited our mutual friends to gang up against me and they all stopped talking to me for a few days. That was pretty traumatizing for me. My teacher finally stepped in had a talk with my friend. I'm not quite sure what she said, but my friend apologized and we went back to being friends again. I think the suggestion to "model and teach advocacy against bullying" could have helped my situation because perhaps our mutual friends would not have ganged up on me and stopped talking to me, or maybe my friend would have never recruited our mutual friends in the first place. |
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| Reply from Jessica DeGroot posted on August 19th 2013 |
| I myself have been bullied and it has usually been by a family member regarding my weight. It is something that I was able to deal with but it did hurt me. I notice it a lot more while working at an elementary school. I am finding that in the past few years it has been getting worse in with children anywhere from 1st grade through even high school and college. I was astounded to find that it was occurring as young as 5 years old. I have found that the teachers and principal that I work with are finding that it is becoming a problem and we are trying to deal with it. It is difficult trying to figure out how to handle 800 children and the bullying problem that we are trying to stop. We are supposed to provide a safe place for children and school isn't even safe anymore. I think this blog has given me some wonderful options to bring to the administrators on my school grounds so that we can try and handle the bullying problem before it gets out of control. These are amazing pointers for every class to discuss with their students. |
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| Reply from Valerie Fine posted on August 19th 2013 |
| To be an effective teacher, a teacher must have a lot of positive qualities like an education and must have training and education to maintain their credentialing . Also they must know haw to develop and promote classroom management, implement instruction and align it with the Common Core Standards. If teaching the preschool years, teachers need to know about child development. Teachers can have a positive or negative effect on their students and must be culturally sensitive and aware to meet the needs of a diverse population. Also, teachers remember the early educators like Vygotsky\\\'s and his Zone of Proximal Development. With this type of knowledge teacher can build on student\\\'s prior knowledge. Teachers can be evaluated on their level of education and experience. I think all teachers should have a culture and diversity class. All too often children from other cultures are placed in special need classes because of their poor reading skills which could be devastating to child\\\'s self esteem, when in reality it is a cultural issue. For example, in some Asian cultures, the children do not talk and have no eye contact with their teacher. |
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| Reply from irene Pereira posted on August 18th 2013 |
| I think everyone is at least bullied once in their life. Bullying can be a life time traumatizing experience. I recalled being bullied in middle school and early high school. Middle school was a painful experience I was bullied because of my physical aspect. I was skinny and I had green colored eyes. Girls would tease me with throw food at me, telling me that my parents could not feed me and I was only bones. The fact was that I was just young and not very physically developed. Boys would tell me not to look at them because I had witch’s eye and they did not want me bringing them bad luck. Today, this stupid superstition makes me laugh but at the time it made me insecure. Teachers, administrators were not accustomed to deal with bullying; they did not have any techniques besides telling me to ignore my tormentors or fight back to silence them. I eventually decided to fight back it was better to be feared than to be a victim. For the next few years I became the tomboy that everyone feared because I wasn’t afraid of punches. In high school I was bullied because I came from a lower social class “blue collar” and daughter of immigrants and most of my classmate were “white collar” famous sentences such as “go back to your country” even though I was born in the same country they were. I decided to fade into the background and to attract attention to me. I believe if teacher see young children displaying bullying behaviors toward classmates they should intervene and discuss it with children. For young children simple role playing a bullying situation can help children understand and emphasizing empathy toward others. For the upper grades, parents, teachers, community leaders and everyone should step up to stop bullying and encourage victims to report it. Everyone needs to educate themselves and take action by adapting and teaching appropriate social skills to children to stop bullying. |
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| Reply from Byanca posted on August 18th 2013 |
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I was fortunate enough to not have ever been bullied or known anyone who has. It is really sad to know that it is out there and it is a very serious issue. I know that even though I myself wasn’t a victim of it I still witnessed it in classrooms. Certain people would make fun of other people because of superficial things and it is sad to know that we live in a world in which bullying is increasing nationwide. I knew certain people in class were made fun of and looking back now I do feel bad for never doing anything about it. In my defense I did, because I was nice to them and everyone so I guess that was my justification. I know that teachers were aware of certain students being bullied and I never really saw any disciplinary actions taken against those doing the bullying, or even joking. Jokes can hurt people and can cause people to harm themselves or others. I hear now more and more about children who commit suicide over bullying and it just breaks my heart. I do know there are campaigns out there making us aware of this and to take action to stop it which is a good thing. But unfortunately it is too late in some cases and people don’t see just how serious they can affect someone. The methods mentioned would be helpful and teachers, parents, and people everywhere should really pay more attention to them because if we start implementing the methods with young children it will help minimize bullying.
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| Reply from Sherrie posted on August 18th 2013 |
| My little sister is 13 years old and looks like she is about 16. She is taller than me and all her clothes are bigger than mine. She has always been the tallest one in class and because of his she has been bullied a lot. My mom tells her to say thank you or something else nice to throw them off because they will eventually lose interest. As far as I know the teachers don't do anything about it which is sad. But my sister will stand up for herself in a positive way she knows not to result to violence and from what I can tell she doesn't take it to heart. Every year for the speech contest she does hers on bullying so she can spread the word to others. I got to help her with her last speech and we put all the different definitions of bullying and reasons why people bully. We also put signs that someone is being bullied. In the preschool years I strongly believe in teachers using the rule "you cannot say you cannot play". As a preschool teacher I have seen many of the older kids on the playground telling others that they cannot play with them and it makes me sad that teachers allow this. |
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| Reply from Emeseb Tabor posted on August 17th 2013 |
| Teachers need to be careful not to prejudge a student’s performance based on cultural differences, language, socioeconomic status, or gender. Teacher needs to promote equality and tolerance in the classroom. Even if the student doesn’t speak English language it doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t know the subject been taught. As a child living in Poland a lot of time teachers assumed that I don’t know things. But because I wasn’t able to express it in Polish, it doesn’t mean that I did know the subject being taught. I had to straggle with the assumption and cultural bias that comes from some of the teachers. Adding to this I was the only black girl from entire school. And children would call me names, pull my hair, hide my books, and most of the time I would withdraw from other children, being afraid to be hurt again. Growing up I was faced with lots of racism toward my classmate and teachers, I felt like, I constantly had to prove them wrong. Sometimes I was just afraid to tell the teachers. I wanted to show my classmate that it does not matter what color you are when it comes to learning. |
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| Reply from Emeseb Tabor posted on August 17th 2013 |
| Teachers need to be careful not to prejudge a student’s performance based on cultural differences, language, socioeconomic status, or gender. Teacher needs to promote equality and tolerance in the classroom. Even if the student doesn’t speak English language it doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t know the subject been taught. As a child living in Poland a lot of time teachers assumed that I don’t know things. But because I wasn’t able to express it in Polish, it doesn’t mean that I did know the subject being taught. I had to straggle with the assumption and cultural bias that comes from some of the teachers. Adding to this I was the only black girl from entire school. And children would call me names, pull my hair, hide my books, and most of the time I would withdraw from other children, being afraid to be hurt again. Growing up I was faced with lots of racism toward my classmate and teachers, I felt like, I constantly had to prove them wrong. Sometimes I was just afraid to tell the teachers. I wanted to show my classmate that it does not matter what color you are when it comes to learning. |
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| Reply from Linda A posted on August 17th 2013 |
| This is an interesting question for me because I feel I have been bullies as an adult. During childhood, adolescence and the majority of my adult life, this has never been an issue for me. However, when I moved to a new a state, locate in a rural area I suddenly found myself a victim of bullying, in the workplace, at school (and I am talking at college) and in my new social circle. Because I a came here to be with my boyfriend, who had lived here his entire life, I found this to be the underlying problem. People who knew him, which was virtually everyone, were not willing to welcome me and made it very clear through subtle and direct actions. As an educator, I came from an environment where I had built relationships and made many professional contacts and friends and was valued in the education community. Moving to a new area where no one knew me it was very difficult to start over again making these connections. So as I look at this list, it occurs to me many of these strategies can overlap into our professional or personal lives as adults. I was not prepared to face this kind of discrimination and it has taken me a long time to feel comfortable or connected to this community. |
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| Reply from Mary posted on August 17th 2013 |
| I attended an all-girls Catholic high school 15 miles from my home. Riding the bus was my mode of transportation. On occasion we would be excused early - this sent shudders down my spine. Being let out early meant taking an earlier bus. The early bus would reach the Watts area at the same time the boys from the detention school were getting out. Several of the boys would get on the bus, stand in line from the back of the bus to the front and begin their bullying antics. Racial slurs directed at the "white" girls were loudly made. They would make fun of our uniforms. Some would spit on our books, or on us - our hair or our face. When I told my parents about this, I was told to just look out the window. It has been 52 years since I graduated from high school. I will never forget those bullying experiences and the language that accompanied them. Unfortunately, these experiences and others (made fun of because of height)shape one's beliefs. I do believe teachers have a responsibility to all children, especially to the children in their charge. Having open classroom discussions about bullying is a vehicle to promote awareness of this hateful activity. Bullying hurts. |
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| Reply from Jennifer posted on August 14th 2013 |
| My dad got remarried and we moved up to Applegate for my 8th grade. Since I was the only Asian, I was constantly bullied. I experienced such prejudiceness that my dad had to pull me out of school and put me in private school. He put me back in public school for my 10th grade, thinking it would be over but it only got worse. I remember till this day, when I came to class, every single desk was all cluttered together in one corner of the classroom except for one desk. I have never felt so humiliated as I did that one day.
When the teacher came in and saw this, he just told the class to put the desks back the way they were. I think if schools would model and teach advocacy against bullying, that may have helped. I think educating children at a young age and throughout high school help bridging the gap of racial/cultural differences. If children and people can relate to the person being bullied, such as the simple understanding that everyone around us is someone’s mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend and so forth. Children need to understand that the person being bullied is a human being with feelings just like everyone else.
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| Reply from Suzie posted on August 14th 2013 |
| Growing up in America, I was bullied by other ethnicity because I was different but their bullying didn’t hurt me. What hurt the most was being bullying by children of my ethnicity. Other children’s comment did not hurt me because I did not know what they were saying so in a way, not speaking the same language was a benefit for me.
During my years in primary school, I felt the teachers/educators did not do much to stop bullying. I guess part of their (teachers) defense was because the bullying was done in a foreign language, no one really knew what was going on. During that time, bilingual staffs were limited, if any, therefore there was no intervention. Also in our culture (my generation) bullying was tolerable. Unless someone was physically hurting us, our parent’s usual advice was “don’t listen to them, just ignore them.” In my opinion, I do not believe the given suggestions would have helped, at least not during my primary school years.
Today, these suggestions would be extremely helpful. There is a zero tolerance for all forms of bullying in school. I believe if schools followed these method, it would probably have saved many school violence breakout.
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| Reply from Hua Lor posted on August 8th 2013 |
| At the time I did not know what bully is all about but I have been a victim of bully, now that I know what bully is. When my family first moved to the States, I remember the children at school were cruel and mean to me. They would make fun of me and laugh about it. Although I did not understand the language at the time, I can still sense that the children were not friendly. I remember skipping class, hanging out in the resource room with the bilingual paraprofessional instead of in my class because I did not like what the other children were threatening me. My parents told me to just ignore the other children and anything. I did not remember the teacher do anything about it. As time goes by, we moved away from that neighborhood into a neighborhood that has more of our ethnicity; things got better. The children at school were nicer to me. It was easier for me to make friends and my English flourish tremendously. I was much happier and not afraid to go to school anymore. My parents did not have to wait with me at the bus stop anymore.
All of the method for handling aggression and bullying are all important but as a teacher; I feel that school should foster social skills and social competence. These skills should and need to be address during their young age. Because we are living in an age where news travel faster than a flying bullet, children needs to be taught how to be humble and get alone with other. Children need to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Children who lack these skills are most likely to bully other or be victim of bully. Because I know the feeling of being threaten and bully, I don’t want to see that same situation happen to any of my students. Bullying should be a common topic that can be address freely at school. There should be support group at school to aid children who are being threatened by bullies. I think that if every one understands the consequences of bullying, there should be less bullying at the school. |
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| Reply from Lorena Poon posted on August 5th 2013 |
| I strongly believe that all of these ten methods are very important. Educators as well as parents should be aware of these approaches in handling bullying. When I was growing up, Spanish was my primary language. When I started school it was very challenging because I had to learn a whole new language but I had the desire to learn and I loved school. The first week of school I remember being teased because of the way I talked. I wasn’t able to pronounce the words correctly. After being teased I felt sad and very in barest, which made me not want to talk. All I remember was that the a few kids were pointed, mimicking me and laughing. When I got home I explained to my mom what had happened and how I did not want to go back to school. My mom told me to ignore them and if they continued to tease me to tell the teacher she also ushered me that everything was going to be okay and to always remember that I’m special because I new how to talk Spanish. When I went back to school I just kept to myself and I tried not to talk in front of them I also to hung out with kids who also spoke Spanish. Back in the early 70’s teachers had very little knowledge about bullying I feel that all of these ten methods should have been implemented back then it would have been very helpful in my situation and others I’m sure. I’m very happy that Bullying is being addressed and the children of today are being taught that it’s not okay and that there are consequences for these actions. |
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| Reply from suki posted on August 3rd 2013 |
| Being bullied, harassment, and abuse is becoming more and more common these days. Everyone at some point in their life becomes a target of bullying or bullies someone else. I have also been a target of bullying, when I was in High School. When I moved to United States, I started my education in High School. I was new to school, country and culture. Other students always made fun of me because I did not speak any English, the way I dressed, the way I did my hair and especially made fun of my clothes, just because I never wore any brand name clothes. All of my clothes were bought from garage sales. At school some students also called me FOB (fresh of the boat) means you are new and you do not speak any English. It made me feel very bad inside. But because I was new to the school and did not know anyone and had no friends, I did not know what to do about it or who to ask for help.
Teachers and school officials need to make it clear that hate language, slurs, and bullying are not allowed in their classrooms and anywhere else on school ground. Teachers also need to make it clear with students that this type of hate language is not acceptable. Education professionals need to also make ground rules and enforce a positive classroom environment. Discuss these topics with your students not only one time but often times as needed, throughout the school year. They also need to make sure that these rules are being followed. And if someone is not following these rules then there needs to be some consequences. Teachers can also bring in some activities to help build positive relationships between all students.
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| Reply from CHRISTINA BROWN posted on August 3rd 2013 |
| Advocacy against bulling when I was growing up was nothing more than “knock it off” or “Sam be respectful or you’ll owe me your lunch” I watched a very close friend of mine get bullied on a regular basis by members of his own family. And at the age of 14 he committed suicide. Was there a correlation between his death and the dreadful constant “joking” that never resulted in laughter for him, I believe so knowing today about the severity of outcomes that hit headline at an astounding rate. His mother defended him, of course, and on occasion his father joined in on the “joking.” And at school teachers dismissed it as if it were okay because it was just your typical sibling rivalry and “boys being boys” of course. Many of the suggestions from this blog would have been helpful, especially “model and teach advocacy against bulling.” Had this suggestion been implemented my best friend would have had a place that he could go where someone was knowledgeable enough to protect him. School could have been his safe haven. And maybe that teacher could have passed on that information to the parents, so they too would understand that words by any definition are not just words and they can leave microscopic scars that eventually wreak havoc on an individual. |
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| Reply from Alyssa Miller posted on August 2nd 2013 |
| Living in a small town anyone who was different was made fun of or bullied; when I was in high school one of my childhood friends was bullied because she was homosexual. Unfortunately, our school was not very proactive about modeling or teaching advocacy against bullying (Model #10) until four students were hospitalized for cutting themselves, and two committing suicide. After losing those two students the high school and the younger schools created a zero tolerance for bullying program. There were multiple assemblies were students were able to confront their bullies, see each other’s point of view, and together the students could work through their issues (Method #4/6). Once these assemblies were put in place school became a much nicer place and my friend was no longer bullied. It’s unfortunate that people had to die before the school administration took bullying seriously, but hopefully now that these tools are in place children will use them and not think of suicide as an option. |
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| Reply from Kathleen McGagin posted on July 24th 2013 |
| When I was in the 4th grade, I was bullied by an older girl in 6th grade. I was quite small then, and she seemed huge to me. She chased me down and kicked me in the stomach. She continued to harass me for several weeks. I remember hiding in the bathroom rather than going out to recess.
I think if I had felt a trust and community in the classroom (Method #6) I would have felt safe to go to my teacher or even the principal. Perhaps I didn't want to be a "snitch". I also think that at that time (the 70's) there just wasn't much known about the subject of bullying. Kids were pretty much on their own on the playground, so unless there was a physical fight, teachers didn't become involved. My older brother ended up coming to my rescue and threatening the girl to leave me alone. I honestly believe that method #10 should be fostered in the schools, and it seems to be happening. I would like to think that my 7-year-old would feel safe to approach his teacher if he is ever bullied. It's not tolerated on the same level that it was when I was growing up, and that's a very good thing. |
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| Reply from Paven posted on May 24th 2013 |
| Bullying today is such a touching subject because it really does happen a lot. I was never bullied personally growing up, but use to see it a lot. There’s a lot of cyber bulling that I’ve read with my own eyes too. I feel like all age groups go through this from elementary to adulthood. It’s been said that bullying occurs once every seven minutes. That for me is sad to hear, I don’t understand why people do this. Bullying is common towards different races or ethnicity and even toward special education. Everyone has a story, there’s always something that we don’t know but it doesn’t give us the authority to badger them down. The ten methods that are shown above are excellent ways to help out bullying. I feel that schools should take these matters seriously, because at times bullying can be a life or death situation. |
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| Reply from Ariana Gomez posted on May 22nd 2013 |
| I don't agree with Christina Short about bullying being agressive behavior because I use to work at an after school program where a girl who didn\'t want to play with anyone else was excluding herswelf and somehow the other girls around her felt like they were being victimized. They came up to me and said(for example:Ashley)\"Ashleywont talk to us or play with us. She\'s being mean. I don\'t believe that it is agressive. However the points 1-10 are really good methods to use to teach children about bullying. |
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| Reply from Ariana Gomez posted on May 22nd 2013 |
| I don't agree with Christina Short about bullying being agressive behavior because I use to work at an after school program where a girl who didn't want to play with anyone else was excluding herswelf and somehow the other girls around her felt like they were being victimized. They came up to me and said(for example:Ashley)"Ashleywont talk to us or play with us. She's being mean. I don't believe that it is agressive. However the points 1-10 are really good methods to use to teach children about bullying. |
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| Reply from Kenna R posted on May 21st 2013 |
| I don’t know a single person who hasn’t been bullied at some point in their life. In my experience volunteering at a daycare, I also see bullying occurring at the pre-school age. It often comes in forms of exclusion, where a child is told they cannot play but not a specific reason why. At this point a teacher would step in and explain to the children the playing and sharing rules at the school and convince the children to comply and allow the excluded or bullied child to engage as well. At the daycare I work at, one way we encourage children to play with everyone and to not bully is to create opportunities for all-inclusive activities. This could include art projects, sharing stories, and activities or games. We like to encourage child independence, but it is also important especially at this age to teach children how to be kind, share, and include others in activities. |
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| Reply from Karina Cervantes posted on May 20th 2013 |
| Growing up in a rural community I was able to tell which children got picked on and why. I didn't have anyone close to me that was bullied but I did know a couple people that got picked on because they were either really smart or because they were not as athletic as most males are during middle school/high school. Most of the teacher noticed the bullying that these children were experiencing but they turned their cheek instead of using of the methods that this blog provides. These suggested solutions could have prevented some of the children that were being bullied at my school to transfer to other schools in the district. |
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| Reply from Hanna Adams posted on May 20th 2013 |
| As a child I was picked on, and pestered. I didn\'t realize until I was older that I was being bullied. At the time I just considered that\'s what people do when they don\'t like you.
It wasn\'t until I spoke up that someone noticed. That teachers often have a million things in front of them, that they don\'t have time to notice until it gets worse.
Now we have so many prevention programs against bullying. However bullying come in more forms then just being pick on in person. It can now affect through cyber space and via-texting.
Advocacy programs are important. And I think that models and problem solving skills are a large help for these children, as well as having a voice. |
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| Reply from Rebekah Mamola posted on May 19th 2013 |
| Bullying is becoming so much more common. I have never personally experienced being the victim of bulling but there was a time in my life when I was the bully. I was home schooled up until my freshman year of high school and I when I entered public school I was extremely impressionable and naïve. There was a group of girls that quickly adopted me into their clique and I was willing to do pretty much anything to make them like me. The girls knew how innocent and naive I was and they would instruct me to say really mean things to few very girls that were the misfits of the school. I had no idea the things I was saying to these girls were jokes and lies that had been spreading about them for years. I remember feeling so cool and feeling like I finally was fitting and had had popular friends. I so regret that time of my life and wish I could go back and apologize to those girls I know I hurt. The way the girls in my “clique” treated me and used me was not right either but I am ultimately responsible for the things I do and say. I never had a teacher or parent confront me on my behavior at school. It wasn't until I started making quality friends in my youth group that I finally realized what I had been doing. I wish that a teacher would have spoken to me or stepped in. I do not think the teachers knew what was happening among the student body. I think it is important for all schools to implement and anti-bullying curriculum. I also think that teachers need to be trained in ways to recognize bullying and techniques to implement when the see bullying occurring among their students. |
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| Reply from Jose Lopez posted on May 19th 2013 |
| I was bullied as a child. I was a timid chubby hispanic male who struggled with school. According to doctors I had some early signs of learning disabilities too. I used to come home frustrated and upset and all my parents ever really told me to do was to fight back by being very vocal and stern. I was never able to do that because I was intimidated by my bullies and I wasn’t good with words. If my parents would have known how to use these interventions listed in this blog then I probably would have entered middle school and highschool with good confidence and social skills. One suggesting that I think is really important is the one stating that there should be an increase and support of cross-cultural/ethic friendships. Such friendships help children understand people from various backgrounds and maybe even experience what it’s like to be from different socio-economic status. This intervention is very appropriate when wanting to maintain a socially equal atmosphere for children. |
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| Reply from Julia posted on May 19th 2013 |
| I have never been bullied or known anyone close to me who has been bullied. I went to an international school, so had always been exposed to different racial and ethnic group. Although my school never experienced any bullying incidents, in elementary school, I remember the teachers and counselor would often talk about bullying and how it affects people. Looking back, I think my school did a really good job addressing bullying because since we talked about it a lot while we were younger, it allowed us students to be more careful towards not doing any actions or saying words that would be considered as victimising others. I think the suggestions given in the blog would be helpful. Especially the first suggestion, because I can personally relate to it. |
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| Reply from Julia posted on May 19th 2013 |
| I have never been bullied or known anyone close to me who has been bullied. I went to an international school, so had always been exposed to different racial and ethnic group. Although my school never experienced any bullying incidents, in elementary school, I remember the teachers and counselor would often talk about bullying and how it affects people. Looking back, I think my school did a really good job addressing bullying because since we talked about it a lot while we were younger, it allowed us students to be more careful towards not doing any actions or saying words that would be considered as victimising others. I think the suggestions given in the blog would be helpful. Especially the first suggestion, because I can personally relate to it. |
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| Reply from Fermina Camacho posted on May 19th 2013 |
| I once had a classmate in junior high school named Ian who was bullied by just about everyone who came in contact with him. Teachers would also make fun of him which I found very surprising. Everyone would make fun of the fact that his cloths and shoes were torn and that his eyes were "tiny". The last time I saw him he ran out of class in tears to avoid taunting by other students. Ian had very neglectful parents and he would often be seen roaming the streets and sleeping in abandonned buildings. After a few weeks from leaving school that day, Ian met a few older teens who convinced him to join their gang. Later that week the gang committed a home invasion where Ian was coerced into murdering a fellow classmate who was simply denfending his home. Ian was tried as an adult and sentenced to life in prison.
had helpful resources been available to Ian, I believe two lives would have been saved. There were also many adults who saw signs of verbal abuse and turned a blind eye. I believe an "open door" policy from teachers or other faculty should be known to all students so that victims of bullies can have a safe palce to express their feelings without prejudice. I believe that modeling advocacy is just as important as physically interviening durring bullying. Teachers should always lead by example. |
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| Reply from Sarah Wortman posted on May 19th 2013 |
| This is heart breaking but true. Bullying is happening earlier and earlier in schools. I work in a preschool setting and can tell you for sure that it does occur. Children will deliberately tell another child that they are not their friend or that that person is not invited to their birthday party. When I was young I can remember that happening in elementary school and possibly kindergarten but it break my heart to see it happening to my kids that I teach. If I were to guess I would say that a lot of this early onset has to do with the technology that children are gaining access to. Although children's television means well and wants to teach them good social skills, parent's do not usually watch with them. therefore when children are expose to a child on television performing a mean act, they don't have the mental capabilities to cognitively figure out that being mean isn't the correct response. Therefore, in order to fully comprehend they have to test it out on other individuals, which is what we see in the classrooms. |
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| Reply from Christina Short posted on May 18th 2013 |
| This topic is close to my heart as it was the topic of my thesis project. At the time that I was in grad school, I had the unique opportunity to work in a preschool program and an after school program on an elementary school site. This experience allowed me firsthand to see initial aggressive behaviors or precursors of bullying at the preschool level and how that trajectory becomes chronic by the time children are entering junior high. Little comments and/or behaviors from young children like "you can't come to my birthday" or "I'm not your friend" are relational bullying strategies in their earliest stages, yet many teachers, caregivers and parents are dismissive with these strategies at this stage. We need to rethink how we facilitate social-emotional competence with our young children so that their attempts to develop friendships, effective communication skills, and to negotiate conflict are not characteristic of this time of relational bullying, which is just as damaging and harmful as the physical bullying that bruises the body. Bruises to the heart, feelings, mind and self-concept are far more difficult to repair. |
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| Reply from Sandy Do posted on May 18th 2013 |
| My sisters and I were bullied in elementary school by a group of boys. They called us “chinks” and made fun of the clothes we wore. Their words were hurtful and we had no idea why they chose us. We chose not to tell our parents or the school. My parents didn't speak English so we didn't want to burden them. We dealt with their hateful comments. My older sister told us that they picked on us because it made them look cool. She always reminded us that their words meant nothing. Eventually, we learned to ignore them. However, one day, they made my younger sister cry when they knocked her umbrella to the floor as we were walking home. My older sister and I were angry, but we couldn't do anything about it; therefore we finally told my older brother. My brother dealt with it and they stopped picking on us. The think the suggestions listed above are helpful. |
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| Reply from Kayla Briney posted on May 18th 2013 |
| Bullying is a difficult topic to discuss. It is painful for anyone who is experiencing it and those around them. As a child, I do not believe I was bullied except for the occasional disagreements with my sisters. However, when I reached my high school years, that is when I began having problems with bullies. One of my friends thought it would be alright to begin to talk negatively about me constantly to those around me and then cut from her life while continuing her actions. This was a difficult time because I knew she was purposefully trying to hurt me mentally and I believe that I knew the cause of it. However, to me, it was a minor infraction on my part. I think if I would have had the support of high-quality peer friendship and be able to talk about my feelings, I would have had a different outcome on my experience. To this day, I still have trust issues with those around me. I am constantly afraid that I will get hurt again and do not let myself get close to anyone. It is not easy being the victim of bullying. |
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| Reply from Melissa A posted on May 18th 2013 |
| This is a topic that touches my heart because back when I was in high school during my sophomore year in 2008, a fellow classmate took his life because he was being bullied. It is a topic that has hunted many of us because we did not find out until years after he took his life why he had made the choses he did. He took his life my shooting himself in the head in one of the bathrooms at the high school. I remember it was during our 3rd period. The school year had just started and he had been bullied for months during the summer, through text messages and at that time MySpace. A fellow class mate of ours had found out that he was a virgin and did not stop texting him and messaging him about it nonstop. He turned to the school and asked for help, but he did not receive any help. The school did nothing; he had class with this person during his fourth period and chose to end his life, feeling he did not have any other chose. He felt he had done everything, he turned to the place that is support to make us feel safe and they did nothing. It was a great lost to our class and I still remember him to this date. All the suggestions you gave in the blog would have been helpful, but for him it is too late but hope that in the future many students are able to get the help that they need. |
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| Reply from Maricela P posted on May 17th 2013 |
| I do not recall being bullied through elementary or high school. However, I have had some experience with 7th and 8th graders that are classified as bullies. I used to volunteer at a school. I worked with a social worker. This social worker created a group against bullying on campus. I was one of the mentors of the group. It consisted of 10 7th-8th grade girls. We met once a week. Throughout the sessions we had worksheets, verbal communication of different topics. They expressed their own feelings. The group overall was effective. The social worker notified me that the teachers saw the difference and impact the sessions were on the girls. I think this should be implemented at schools as a strategy to stop bullying. By going straight to the source. |
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| Reply from Michelle Wilson posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was bullied in high school. I never told any teachers or anyone who could help my situation, instead I stood up for myself and would not let the bullies know they got to me. I was taught from a young age that bullies probably had problems at home or with other people and it was displaced aggression.I did not have a good family structure so I dealt with it the only way I knew how. I do believe many of these suggestions would have been good to know when I was young. I always told my children that if there was ever any problems that they could tell me or another trusted adult to help them in the situation. As I grew up I stared to believe in that it was better to let someone know what is going on. Maybe because I was a mother who wanted to protect my children. |
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| Reply from Julia posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I have never really been bullied and don't recall anyone i knew to have been bullied either. However I am familiar with what it is and i would be able to recognize it if i ever saw others bullying their peers. I believe all of the suggestions from the blog would be helpful, but it would depend on the child bullying or being bullied and what suggestions would work best with them. I believe the most helpful ones would be "to name, define, and talk about the problem" and to "use problem solving." Although the other ones may work some can just cause the children bullying to act as if they understand the severity of bullying, but may still do it anyway. For example, to “give children a chance to be open and honest in real life and through dramatic play” is a great way to help all of the children understand the way it may really affect others, but some of those children bullying can also continue to do it out of the view of teachers or parents as a way to impress their friends or peers. Obviously, bullying is never the answer in any situation, but some children do not know how to express how they feel and may also be reflecting what is happening to them at home and reacting in such ways. |
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| Reply from lenora posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I have never personally been bullied, but my youngest brother has. My brother was in 5th grade and was taking medication for his ADHD and the teacher of all people would announce publically in class if my brother had taken his medicine. Since the comments were made public, the children began to call him \\\\\\\"pill boy\\\\\\\" and tease him, and I would consider this emotional bullying. Unfortunately my mom was unaware of this bullying until closer to the end of the year, and once she found out she defiantly told that teacher that she was being unprofessional and was wrong in making that announcement public. For the next school year, my mother made sure to tell the teacher before the school year began about asking my brother in private if he had taken his medication that day, because the school had some on hand for him. I personally wish my brother would have said something sooner, so that something could have been done about it. Suggestion #5, talking about feelings, would have been key in resolving this issue. Suggestion #8 should have also been considered, building rust and community in the classroom, this definitely was not implemented in the classroom and should have been. I feel these suggestions are helpful, but don\\\\\\\'t exactly apply to older children. |
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| Reply from tina tran posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was bullied in elementary school because I was very small. The children would give me a nickname which was tiny tina and tuna. I didn\'t like the nicknames but when they call me by my nicknames I would just smile and act like I was not effected but I was. These nickname follow me to high school. As I got older I was not effected by it and embrace my nickname. |
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| Reply from tina tran posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was bullied in elementary school because I was very small. The children would give me a nickname which was tiny tina and tuna. I didn't like the nicknames but when they call me by my nicknames I would just smile and act like I was not effected but I was. These nickname follow me to high school. As I got older I was not effected by it and embrace my nickname. |
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| Reply from Jacquie White posted on May 16th 2013 |
| When I was in middle school, I was a victim of bullying. The teachers and principals tried to sit all the girls down and make them apologize to me. I think it only made matters worse because then I was known as a "snitch," as they liked to call it, and only bullied me more. Having all of our parents talk about it helped best. They made us write letters to each other about how we felt and the bullying eventually stopped. I think the key to bullying is stopping it before it even happens. Encouraging positive social behavior and teaching kids to tolerate others around them, for a lack of a better word, would help them for real world situations as well. |
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| Reply from Shelbi Andrion posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was a victim of cyber bullying when I was in the 7th grade by some of my classmates. I was trying to refrain from certain behaviors that my peers were participating in and I was targeted as a wimp and a tattle tale. My mom was the adult who helped me handle my situation. Everything was online and was documented; this was proof that would be presented to the school if the bullying persisted. My parents made phone calls to the other kid’s homes and shared the situation with them. The situation was never really resolved and I ended up changing schools. I would suggest that in addition to the above methods that parent and child interaction is also seen as important. Without the ability to communicate the problems I was having with my parents, the situation could have been worse. Encouraging parent communication is very important and made a difference in my personal situation. |
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| Reply from Cheryl posted on August 22nd 2013 |
| I think you make a very valid point Shelbi. Thankfully you were confident enough to be able to share with your Mom. I hope that I can instill that same confidence and trust in my little girls, that they can always come to me. No matter what. I always tell them I love them and nothing can change that. Now my 5 year old will say it back to me, "I love you Mommy, no matter what, forever"! |
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| Reply from Corinne Almberg posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was bullied by another female classmate from kindergarten through junior high. For whatever reason she chose me to pick on and it was continuous. She always made fun of me for anything she could find. She used to tease me about how flat chested I was. One day in junior high she decided to grab the collar of my shirt and open it to see if I even had nipples since I had no boobs. I was so embarrassed. I know she got in trouble and there was a meeting with her parents but other than that I only remember her teasing me. I feel that something should have been done about it in elementary school to avoid me having been picked on for years and years. I think she was insecure about herself and so she picked on me as a way to make herself feel better. All of the things listed above would have worked for this situation. She needed an outlet and unfortunately I was it. If she would have been given through opportunity through dramatic play or classroom activities she may not have resorted to picking on me. To this day I still cannot say why she chose me to pick on. |
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| Reply from Rafaela Cortes posted on May 16th 2013 |
| I was bullied when i was in elementary school and sometimes in middle school. I am a short person and most of the time children would make fun of me because i am short and I was not like them. I felt bad and sometimes cried because i could not do anything about it. Also i have many nieces and nephews and some of them are bullied at school. Most of the are in the same elementary school. One of my nieces is bullied by a boy in her same class and it is also because she is short. My other niece is bullied because she is really shy and because sometimes she takes care of two of her younger cousins. Children tell her that she looks like the mom and they tell her bad things because she has problems with her teeth. I remember my niece reaction when she told me that this was happening. she was sad and she did not wanted to go to school anymore. My brother when to school and talk to the principle about what was happening and everything stop when they had a conversation with the kids that were bullying my niece. I think that many of the times children do not say anything about being bullied because they are scare and the problem just keeps on going. Parents and teachers play a big role here and they should be more aware of the kids that are causing problems to other kids. |
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| Reply from Paige Sutton posted on May 15th 2013 |
| I was never personally bullied nor did I ever witness it throughout my school experiences. However, having read the stories posted here, and being told past experiences from friends with their hardships, it is extremely prevalent and I am so thankful that I did not have to experience the horrible things they had to. It truly is a shame, and the fact that bullying comes in many forms, and in many cases, goes unnoticed is an even more heartbreak; given that these children, and in some cases adults, are forced to endure in silence. I believe the methods listed in this blog would prove highly successful and helpful to these children. The hope is that adults afford these children the necessary opportunities to use and explore these techniques, so that in time, bullying could potentially become a thing of the past. |
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| Reply from Noung posted on May 15th 2013 |
| I was bullied in 6th grade. I don't know why it happened but it was just for one day. I was bullied by one of the usually reserved boys in my class. He just started saying means things to me. I didn't tell the teacher or my parents because I didn't think of it. I also felt like they wouldn't be able to help. I feel like teachers and parents really need to communicate with their child on a daily basis about what is going on in school. Even if the child won't outright tell you that they are being bullied, there are clues that will help you figure it out. Other than just talking about how bad bullying is, teachers and school administrators should take action when they see or suspect something is happening. Maybe if children see adults give consequences to bullies then it will help decrease it. A teacher can be understanding of a bully, but it doesn't mean that he/she will stop harassing their classmates. |
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| Reply from Ciara M posted on May 14th 2013 |
| One of my younger cousins was bullied while she was in 6th grade. At first I was surprised that this was occurring because she attended a private catholic school that was Pre-k thru 8th grade and there were only 250 students in the school. These children had been with the same students since pre-k. During her 6th grade year there was a combination of students coming in from another private school that had closed the previous year. There was a new girl that had just started to attend that school that year, she wasn’t physically bulling her, and it was more verbal abuse. My cousin didn’t tell the teacher or her mom but at one of our family gathering she told my younger sister about what was happening and then my sister let me know. I told my aunt about what was occurring she immediately called the school and spoke with the teacher, the bulling stopped for about a month then it started again. This time my aunt held a meeting with the teacher and the principal, and then they talked to each girl to see what they had to say. It turned out the girl was bullying my cousin because she felt like an outsider at the school since she hadn’t attended the school as long as the other girls had and that she didn’t have a friendship like they did. After hearing this, the principal came to the conclusion that the bully girl should express why she was bullying my cousin. After my cousin heard her story, she decided to invite the girl to hang out with her and her friends during recess and lunch. After a couple weeks of including the girl in activities with her friends, my cousin and the bully became good friends. Now they are in their first year of college and still are friends. |
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| Reply from Mai Yang Thor posted on May 14th 2013 |
| I was not really bullied during elementary school. However, many of my friends were bullied based off of their appearance. Usually, bullying doesn’t take place around adults. And it’s hard to tell a teacher that someone has been bullied because the students are usually afraid the bully will get back at them. I remember one time I tried to stop a bully from pulling the hair and name calling another classmate of mine. When I intervened, they made fun of my name and were singing the “sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g” song to me and the student I was protecting. It was until I told them I was going to tell a teacher that they stopped. I admit, afterwards, I did not intervene in any bullying. One student was nicknamed after the little commercial plant “Chia” and later was named “Medusa” because of the multiple braids in her hair. I did not intervene nor did I defend her. It felt like I was going along with the bullies. The teacher did address this in the classroom and how hurt she would feel. Things died down for a bit but resumed after some time. Later in fourth grade, the student that I helped out started a “No Bullying Club” (NBA) and every lunch time, all the students who are in the club would meet up and discuss about how to stop bullying. We would pinpoint where the bullies usually hang out and who they would usually target. However, the club died down later on in the year and nothing was really done about bullying. I think the teacher’s did their best in managing bullies. My sixth grade teacher actually kept the biggest bully within reach and would always consult him. However, she wasn’t those who would blame the child. She was pretty open and into his family business. Even to this day, even though he is still not the best person, he respects her for her time and concern. He wouldn’t misbehave in front of her. I think bullying is hard to stop when the other students do not open up and forgive the bully. Parents can help prevent bullying the first time they notice something off. A classmate had pneumonia and was losing hair. Her mom came to talk about her disease and everyone sympathized with her. No one bullied her after her mom came to talk about it. Tutoring in middle school, I see students who wouldn’t stay near a bully. They don’t talk to or work with a bully. It will take time and I think doing a bit of everything as listed above would help improve the individuals as they grow up and start to think about everything around them. |
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| Reply from Christian Solis posted on May 14th 2013 |
| I was very fortunate to never be bullied. But I did see people unlined and I believe it is important to have someone to listen to you. Feelings need to be shared and freedom of expression is important. Often I hear I wish I would have just been listened to. |
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| Reply from Laura posted on May 14th 2013 |
| Bullying was a huge deal when I was younger. I think that adults need to be on the look for it when kids are out playing and focus more on the children rather than socializing with other teachers. I think we need to focus on building self esteems because I feel like that has a lot to do with it as well. I feel like adults do not watch out for it as much as they should. They usually would just handle it with a slap on the wrist, and didn't focus much on the child that was actually bullied. Whether the bully got in trouble or not the focus was mainly on them, when I think we should look at the children that were being bullied because they are the ones now that have low self esteems and do not have as much trust in people. It is hard for a child to trust an adult when they are not getting any attention on the areas that they need help in. |
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| Reply from Anna posted on May 13th 2013 |
| I remember being bullied early since elementary school. I would always squinting in class because I needed glasses and my peers would call me names then when I had gotten glasses they also made fun of me. I did grow up with low self-esteem and not much confidence. I would also get picked on because im glasses would get bent or messed up when i played and it was obvious that they were crooked. I was also very skinny. When i was in fourth grade i told my friend about my crush and she told everyone else in class and they asked my crush if he liked me and he said no because I was ugly. I was so embarrased but tries to play things off, but I went home crying. I rememeber when i was in 6th grade me and my other friend who was also bullied with me decided we did not want to be bullied anymore, so we became the bullies. We bullied other children verbally, not physically. We called people who did not understand English bad names in Spanish. There was a new girl in school and we would call her \"rana,\" which means \"frog\" when she passed. This continued until around early 8th grade when I decided to stop because bully was not helping me feel better. I figured there was no point in bullying others because it was not fixing my problems or issues. So we stopped.I remember teachers would only tell us to stop but we continued until 7th grade a gril told the principal and me and friend told him we sould stop, but we just bullying her. I think suggests that could have been would have been use reflective listening and trying to build trust and community in the classroom because our classroom the Americans and Mexicans always divided themselves half on one saide and half on the other side. Alot of the bullying was between the Mexicans and Americans. So i feel if the border between both groups would have been broken at any earlier age, then maybe we would have ended up growing up more as a community. |
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| Reply from Marisa posted on May 13th 2013 |
| I was bullied all through Elementary school for my speech impediment. I was very shy when I was younger, and everyone made fun of me for my stuttering. I had one close friend, but all of the other girls, and especially the boys made fun of me in class and out of class. I remember that there were a group of girls in my 4th grade class that always starred at me, and would call me names behind my back. I always came home crying, and told my mom how the kids always made fun of me for my stuttering. All through Elementary school/Middle school I went to a private speech pathologist to help with my stuttering. When I reached high school, the stuttering slowly stopped, and it only occurs today when I'm very nervous. When I was younger the "bullying" was a huge deal to me, and I thought I was never going to get through it; But now that I'm older I realized that it never affected me in the long run, and it makes me sympathetic towards kids who are bullied now. |
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| Reply from Kristina G posted on May 11th 2013 |
| Throughout school I was bullied for how skinny I was. Boys and girls would call me two by four cause I was \"flat as a board\". They also would spread rumors about me having being anorexic when in reality if I were to have an eating disorder it would have been because I ate to much. My mom had the same problem when she was the same age and she told me to just ignore it and that eventually I\'d fill out and that just because I have a fast metabolism and skinny genes doesn\'t mean that their is something wrong with me. My mom taught me to love me for me and helped me realize that I was made the way I am for a reason and that my imperfections are what make me unique and perfect in my own way. |
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| Reply from Kristina G posted on May 11th 2013 |
| Throughout school I was bullied for how skinny I was. Boys and girls would call me two by four cause I was "flat as a board". They also would spread rumors about me having being anorexic when in reality if I were to have an eating disorder it would have been because I ate to much. My mom had the same problem when she was the same age and she told me to just ignore it and that eventually I'd fill out and that just because I have a fast metabolism and skinny genes doesn't mean that their is something wrong with me. My mom taught me to love me for me and helped me realize that I was made the way I am for a reason and that my imperfections are what make me unique and perfect in my own way. |
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| Reply from Mary posted on May 10th 2013 |
| When I was in kindergarten I experienced bullying fist hand. Although we were young and now I really don’t think anything of it at the time it did affect me. So a few of the girls in my class did not like me and well they were just being brats. I was liked by all the boys and was the only girl they wanted to play with because I liked to play sports instead of just swinging or playing on the jungle gym, so I think this is were the animosity came from. They would call me names and say mean things and I would go home and not want to return, I did not get why these girls didn’t like me. Eventually my mom had to talk to the teacher and the teacher had a conference with the girls’ parents. It got better with time and once they realized the boys liked to play with them too it stopped. Although this has not affected me in the long run, it is better to stop it sooner than later because then it can really have affects on individuals. |
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| Reply from Khushbu Patel posted on May 10th 2013 |
| I have never been bulled and I have never witnessed anyone close to me being bullied. However, I have witnessed a physical/emotion abuse between a high school couple. I was in senior year, when witnessed a couple arguing. In the beginning, their fight seemed like any “normal couple fight” but then I noticed, the girl had tears in her eyes and had bruises on her face and arms. The boy she was with made hurtful comment and she stood there listing to him yell. Next, he grabbed her arms and at this point, I intervened and asked the girl if she was okay? She scornful replied, “I AM FINE” but before I could say anything word they left and I stood there wondering what just happened. I felt terrible for the girl and wished I could do more but by that time it was too late. Later, I found out that they have been in the relationship for two years and it’s always like that. Many teachers tried to help her out but she said no and replied that this was between her and her boyfriend. I don’t know if any of the suggestions in the blog could have helped but I just wished she could understand that this wasn’t love.
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| Reply from Marday Byers posted on May 10th 2013 |
| I was bullied in high school and almost the whole school caught on and went with it. I had two groups of friends, but they decided to bully me over social media. It was a painful process, but the principle did not really deal with the issue. They told the group to have it removed, but then they just started a new page. I would say using number seven, problem solving, would have been the best situation. The counselor could have pulled me and the others in and had us work out our problem. But I also think in High School it is hard to reach out and stop bullying because the students are older and do not want to listen to the adults telling them to stop. |
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| Reply from Lysett Perez posted on May 9th 2013 |
| I recently meet up and had dinner with a friend I knew in high school that to my surprise was bullied. She told me that throughout high school she was repeatedly called names, thrown into trash cans, and pushed while walking down the hall. This was a surprise to me because she is a female who has such a great personality and really tried to get along with everyone. In high school I was friends with many different groups of people, even some of the people who she said bullied her. It was just so baffling to me that that this had occurred to such a great person. She told me during our dinner that she truly hated high school and could not wait to leave. I felt so bad that she had to deal with this kind of inexcusable behavior from her own peers. When I asked her if she had complained, she said “oh yes, many times. But nothing every changed.” She said that her mother used to go into the school and complain to the principle who disregarded a lot of the complaints. I believe that all of the suggestions are very helpful to the victim. However, I feel that bullying is something that bullies learn early and has a lot to do with discipline from parents, teachers, and administration, but if the bullying behavior is not taken seriously I think that the behavior is hard to change without the support that discipline brings. I think that teachers, parents, and administration have to follow through to make sure that the bullying behavior stops and if it does not then the adults have to make sure that there is recourse for the bad behavior. |
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| Reply from Lauren Pettipiece posted on May 9th 2013 |
| When I was younger, I was bullied for appearing masculine. I was a gymnast and cheerleader, and had a very muscular body from very early childhood, through eighth grade. It had never been a problem before, but when I moved to a new town and a new school, the girls there took notice that our bodies were different. I was called a boy, a lesbian, ugly, and many other names. At a birthday party in sixth or seventh grade, we were all playing a game when the birthday girl grabbed the strap to my one-shouldered tank top, and broke it off. My shirt fell off and everyone teased me for how I looked more like a boy than a girl. I was completely traumatized. My family, true friends, and coaches were very supportive. Everyone would tell me to pay no mind to people teasing me about my body, because that body was what allowed me to do everything I was capable of doing, that the other girls were not. I won awards for my tumbling and had some very great opportunities that came from having that talent. They tried to teach me to be proud of myself and proud of what I could do, without letting people bring me down because they don’t understand. Ironically, I ran into the ringleader of the bullying about a month ago, who apologized to me and explained that she has been attempting to right her wrongs from when she was younger. She told me that she has been feeling very guilty about the bullying she participated in against myself as well as others. This was something that effected my self-esteem for a long time, but the advice those close to me gave me did help. |
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| Reply from yixian li posted on May 9th 2013 |
| I think using hate language as bullying as relational aggression happens normally at schools. It is very common used as name-calling, teasing, and mocking, etc. While you are working in a preschool, you might hear the children play the good guys and bad guys normally during the plays. They might use the hate language as “You are the bad guy, and I’m going to put you in jail.” or “You are not allowed to play with us.” or “You are not our friends.” or “I don’t like you.” etc. Children use hateful language intentionally or unintentionally to express their thoughts and feelings. No matter where children have heard or learned the hate language from, the most important thing is how teacher explains the right or wrong of speaking hate words and stops the verbal bullying.I think all the methods list above are helpful strategies for caregivers and teachers. To stop the bully, you have to be aware of the bully behaviors. |
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| Reply from Rosario Sandoval posted on May 8th 2013 |
| I was bullied when I was in fifth grade. I remembered that it was usually during our first recess. This girl would call me names and say negative comments regarding my physical appearance. Every day I would go to the bathroom and cry because I felt really bad. I would try to avoid her because she would tell me things in front of all my friends and I felt very embarrassed. However, I never discuss this with my parents, teachers, or anybody. I would just cry in the bathroom and try to avoid her. I think it would have helped if I talked to somebody for advise and support. I think is very important for students not to be afraid and talk to parents and teachers because children who are bullied suffer a lot and somebody needs to stop it. |
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| Reply from Angelica Palomares posted on May 8th 2013 |
| Yes, I was bullied as a child and it was not a positive experience. I work with children at a school and I sometimes observe how children can be mean and bully children that are younger. As soon as I see that happening I stop the child that was being mean and I talk to them and discuss how their actions can cause another person to feel sad and less confident in themselves. I discuss feelings and use positive talking so that the bully understands the victim. I do not pressure the child to apologize but I do encourage them to talk to the victim because I want the victim to know that the have been heard and not ignored. |
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| Reply from Erica Jones posted on May 8th 2013 |
| I was bullied for a brief period in the 5th grade. I was new to the area and found it hard to make friends for a while. The bullying consited of isolating, rumors and even physical abuse walking home from school. It was then that adults got involved; there was a meeting with the principal and my grandmother with the girls and myself. We talked and expressed our feelings openly and most issues were dissolved. It wasn\'t long before I was friends with some of the girls, although some I never made friends with. But I never had to worry about the bullying. |
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| Reply from Erica Jones posted on May 8th 2013 |
| I was bullied for a brief period in the 5th grade. I was new to the area and found it hard to make friends for a while. The bullying consited of isolating, rumors and even physical abuse walking home from school. It was then that adults got involved; there was a meeting with the principal and my grandmother with the girls and myself. We talked and expressed our feelings openly and most issues were dissolved. It wasn't long before I was friends with some of the girls, although some I never made friends with. But I never had to worry about the bullying. |
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| Reply from Stephanie Vega posted on May 8th 2013 |
| Yes.. I been bullied before and I work at an elementary school and I see bulling everyday. When I was in elementary school I would always get tease by my height because I loved playing basketball. The kids at my school would always try to make me look dumb because basketball is only for "tall kids". During the time, I was too afraid to say anything to my teachers because I still wanted my "friends" to like me. Now since I work at the elementary school, I told my students to not be afraid to stand up for yourself or tell your teacher because it's wrong and somebody has to stop it. |
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| Reply from Ashley Voss posted on May 7th 2013 |
| I work at a preschool and we have a two year old who constantly picked on a four year old. The four year old was in a car accident as a baby and is very small and weak for her age. It was strange to me at first that the two year old would pick on any one. However she does have an older sister that may pick on her. It was also strange that she would seek out the four year old to push and pull on, call names, and yell at. In order to solve this bullying problem we involved the parents, kept the children separated, and reengage the children in other activities. What seemed to work the best was getting each of the girls support from peers in their class. After that the children would go to their other friends and were not as interested in each other for any reason. |
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| Reply from Itza Gonzalez posted on May 7th 2013 |
| Before learning about bullying I would have never thought about actually being a victim when I was in elementary school. Now, knowing what it is I can definitely identify as being bullied. I always used to think as people being "mean" to other students but of course at that age, I didn't think about the damage that could be caused in the long run. I remember being teased about certain physical aspects during elementary school. However, I never told anyone. I think mainly because I was just always too shy. I do believe that those words did hurt me and to this day can make me feel a bit self conscious. Perhaps being educated on this subject at an early age can really help stop and prevent bullying. I would have definitely benefited from numbers 8,9, 10 and 5 just to let someone know and be helped. |
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| Reply from Maria Hernandez posted on May 7th 2013 |
| I guess back then when I was an elementary school student I did not realize that I was being a victim of bullying. Now that I have learned more about it, I understand that I was being a victim of bullying when some children would make fun of me and try to make me feel bad about something. In my case, the aggressors were few of my classmates who would hang out together and liked to bully other people. They never used physical violence towards me; however, sometimes words can be as hurtful as a physical punch. I do not really know the exact reasons why these children would say mean and rude things to me and to other children in the classroom, but probably these children were in some way or another victims of bullying themselves. In my case, since they were not physically hurting me, I decided not to tell my teachers. I found it easier just to try to ignore the laughs and mean things they would say. At first this would make me feel really bad about myself, but then when I told my parents about it, they just talked to me about ignoring those comments and not let them affect me. Ignoring these children actually helped me because within a few weeks they would not try to bully me anymore. However, I think that children who are facing those same issues should notify their teachers and parents as well, so they could talk to both the victims and the bullies to help them stop the aggression. Bullies are children who are suffering as well, and we need to help them too. I definitely believe that the suggestions given in the list are very helpful for both children and to set up a safer environment for everyone at school or home. Communication between the children and the adults around them are key to resolve the bullying problems. |
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| Reply from Dawn Powdrill posted on May 7th 2013 |
| It may be hard for people to grasp how early bullying actually starts. Last year, my daughter in Kindergarten was a victim of bullying. Another girl in the class was giving her a hard time for wearing pink. This went on until one morning she told me that she didn't want to go to school anymore. I met with the parents, and the teacher about the issue. Then I started reading my daughter stories about bullying, and discussed ways that she could protect herself. The advice in this blog is perfect, and I wish I would've had it at the time. This is a very serious issue, and keeping open communication is the key to success. |
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| Reply from selena v. posted on May 7th 2013 |
| I have never been bullied before, and do not know of someone that has been a victim of bully. Therefore, I cannot talk about a person and their own situation of how the problem was handled by their parents or teachers. However, I can give suggestions of my own thoughts about bullying.
I believe that being a victim of bully can be a very traumatic experience. Many times it all depends on the types of bullying that the victim is on. A person can be bullied verbally, physically and or emotionally. All the types of bullying are harmful for the victim because he or she can get to feel a really low self-esteem. In the worst case, the victim may be bullied at school and at home, so the victim could get to commit suicide.
Bully is a main problem that all schools, parents, caregivers need to address to their young children and adolescents. All adults can handle the situation in various ways, but the same goal and that is to inform children of the consequences bullying can affect a person needs to be talked about. The adult needs to first state the many forms and ways how a person can be a victim of bully. Then, the various solutions to help the victim, and also the adult should teach the children to stop the aggressor to bully the other person. All the methods states above to handle the situations of aggression and bullying are good ones. I believe that the list above is a great way to teach the young kids about bullying because it covers bullying in many viewpoints.
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| Reply from jennifer posted on May 7th 2013 |
| I have never been bullied before, but my nephew has been bullied. When I went to pick him up at school I was wondering why he was taking so long. My niece came up to me and I asked her why he was taking so long. She said that a girl in his class won’t let him come out of the gate. When I saw him he was trying to come out to the front, but the girl was blocking him. He ran around the gate and came towards me. I asked him what happened and who is the girl. He didn’t say anything, but my niece told me that she would bully him and tell him to give her some money to buy ice pops at the time because it was during summer. I told his parents and his parents talked to the teacher. After his parents talked to the teacher she didn’t bother him again because about a month later she moved to a new school. I believe that these suggestions given in this blog can be helpful to children because when children are aware of the situation, it can be stopped soon. Teachers doing activities of bullies may impact younger children in elementary so that they can be aware of it. Many children aren’t aware of bullying unless they have been bullied before. |
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| Reply from Lexe Valdivia posted on May 7th 2013 |
| I had a friend from elementary school who was bullied. My friend was so naive and nice that he did not care if his friend play hard on him or sometimes push him on purpose. His mom always told him to tell his teachers or supervisors; yet he never did.Meanwhile, his friend continue to bother him and he will not do anything. My friend thought if he push them back and hit them, they may get hurt and he did not want to hear them. Finally his mother spoke to his teacher and try to help my friend for the most part. One thing this teacher did was to help this bully friends to understand the victim feelings. I have to say this activity did help which later they eventually stop.
The methods described above are perfect examples to help bullies and the victims. My favorite ones are reflecting listening, increase cross-racial/ethinic friendships and build trust and community int he room. |
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| Reply from Iryna Honcharuk posted on May 6th 2013 |
| I grew up and attended school not in the USA, and for me the term “bulling” was actually new because I have never heard about it before, not because we did not have those issues but because we were taught to react differently. In my country, we were taught that bullies have impact on you only if they see that what they do or say hurts you, so if we do not pay attention to those actions or words then there is no point for them to do that to us. Also, we were taught, if someone laughs at you – laugh louder and so people would see that you understand your mistakes and imperfections and, because you laugh, you show that you have the right to make those mistakes because everybody makes mistakes and it is okay. I believe, when we respect others and ourselves then others also respect us. Therefore, the teachers\' role is to teach children that everybody is different but we still have so much in common so there is no need to prove that one is better and the other one is not so good because everyone is good in something, and there is no people, or children specifically, who cannot do anything good. The suggestions given in the blog are helpful because they give people, who are dealing with bulling, a hint how we can help children to define bullying and to teach children to be respectful to others and see good in everyone. |
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| Reply from Marisela Rivera posted on May 6th 2013 |
| I have noticed that the interest in bullying has increased throughout the years. I do not remember being bullied, but do remember other classmates being bullied. I have a brother in sixth grade and am very involved with him. Growing up he was very chubby and often got made fun of. I would always stand up for him when I was near and coached him on possible things to say although I was only ten years older. My block was very united and all of the children would/still play in the street. People driving know to go 10 mph. I definitely would model and teach advocacy against bullying as suggested by the post. I would use #6 to my advantage. The boys would consider me their “sister” as well and I would sometimes even pull them aside being able to talk to them. At times they would just ignore me, but at other moments they would truly reflect. I was in high school myself at this time. One of the reasons I did not want my brother to have any accounts on social networks is because of cyber bullying. I did not want him exposed to more bullying than necessary. His “baby fat” went away and he now at twelve years of age stands at 5’6”, much taller than those boys that would bully him when he was younger. I believe that sports and having a common goal is one way to create that support system outlined in #2 and #3 and helped the bullying in his case stop. Nobody else was involved in his case but I know that in other children’s teachers and even principals did get involved. Every suggestion has value and I believe it would be good to share with teachers, especially middle school teachers. |
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| Reply from Iryna Honcharuk posted on May 6th 2013 |
| I grew up and attended school not in the USA, and for me the term “bulling” was actually new because I have never heard about it before, not because we did not have those issues but because we were taught to react differently. In my country, we were taught that bullies have impact on you only if they see that what they do or say hurts you, so if we do not pay attention to those actions or words then there is no point for them to do that to us. Also, we were taught, if someone laughs at you – laugh louder and so people would see that you understand your mistakes and imperfections and, because you laugh, you show that you have the right to make those mistakes because everybody makes mistakes and it is okay. I believe, when we respect others and ourselves then others also respect us. Therefore, the teachers' role is to teach children that everybody is different but we still have so much in common so there is no need to prove that one is better and the other one is not so good because everyone is good in something, and there is no people, or children specifically, who cannot do anything good. The suggestions given in the blog are helpful because they give people, who are dealing with bulling, a hint how we can help children to define bullying and to teach children to be respectful to others and see good in everyone. |
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| Reply from Melissa Goodner posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Growing up I always did what everyone wanted me to in order to fit in. No matter the circumstance I would always be the one to change my opinion to make someone else happy. This started as far back as I can remember which was probably kindergarten or 1st grade. My friends pulled me in different directions and I was constantly in the middle of arguments. I would come home crying to my mother and she would often use her own form of reflective listening, which was very helpful at the time even though, technically, I wasn’t being bullied. When I moved forward in my education onto middle school I got into a crowd that was very obsessed with being individuals and not conforming to what society wanted. Although I didn’t realize what I had got myself into I knew that I always felt out of place, I didn’t want boys to look at me and I didn’t want to lie to my parents about where I was and what I was doing. Similar to when I was younger I fell into doing what they wanted me to do, I didn’t talk to my Mom to much about it because I didn’t believe she would understand what children were going through in my generation. Eventually I started to feel more and more uncomfortable and depressed, I would come home and cry about everything. My friends at school were constantly telling me how ugly I was and that I was too nice. I wished that they wouldn’t say that to me, I tried to speak up but nothing worked. They all began cutting themselves because in order to get the attention of boys and others this is what you had to do. At one point I began to contemplate cutting myself, luckily I had built a trusting relationship with my mother where I felt that I could be honest and open with her. I explained what was going on and told her how I was feeling confused and sad; I told her that I did not want to cut myself but that I had this desire to do it because I wanted to fit in. My mother talked me out of it and discussed ways to avoid people like this. Unfortunately I was stuck in this school for 3 years, the worst 3 years of my entire life, but my Mom made sure to send me to a high school these girls didn’t go to. This experience has really opened my eyes to bullying, I hadn’t thought of my experience as bullying but now I see that since these people were trying to control me and socially had control over me I was a victim. I have learned a lot from this time in my life and I do believe that these methods are helpful because my mother used a few with me. As a future teacher I hope to build a relationship with my students that will allow them to open up and share with me. These strategies are beneficial to teachers, parents, peers, and the community! |
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| Reply from Charles Ogren posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Bullying is becoming more and more complex each day. Therefore, the solutions to bullying need to also continually evolve. When I was a boy, I knew that the worst result of a bullying incident would be some kind of fist fight; these days boys are so violent that they often bring a knife or gun to a fist fight. That makes bullying an absolutely critical, potentially life threatening problem. Especially when one considers the suicides that do occur as a result of repeated bullying. Boys are getting increasingly violent due in part to their peers daring and egging them on, but often it is a result of the type of masculine dogma taught by fathers to make their boys tough. I said this before and I still believe its true: Bullies have made a prior assessment of their intended victim(s). They have arrived at the belief that the victim can't or won't defend themselves, which gives the bully free reign to do as he or she pleases. It is important that the "victim" responds in a completely unexpected way, in a manner that the bully never considered at all. The bully must be shocked into questioning all of his pre-conceived notions about those he thinks are weaker. Now, I am not ruling out having the victim punch the bully in the nose, but I see it as a last result. Having your child hide behind an authority figure (teacher?) or try to respond by acting kind or respectful to the bully will only make it worse for the child victim later. The bully is not looking for friendship or respect, they seek power or to be perceived as having power. Every child should be trained to defend themselves or we may regret having left our child defenseless. If you want to accuse me of being just like the bullies because I suggest a violent solution, that's fine believe what you want. But if your child is violently attacked by one or more people, if even one person brings a weapon (gun or knife)... Wouldn't you rather have your son or daughter have knowledge of martial arts or would you rather risk your child's life? |
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| Reply from Eric Ehrhardt posted on May 6th 2013 |
| I have been bullied several times throughout school. It would come from kids that I called friends, and others who I never knew. I never know how to approach being bullied. If I ever tried to speak up for myself the other children would never listen. Instead, it almost made it worse because they knew it got to me. It got to the point where I stopped caring what children said to me (might not be best for children to feel that way). This way did not cause confrontation as much for me, as this would be the best solution to my problem. I cannot recall if I ever resolved those issues but it seemed that there was not a strong front when it came to bullying. Nowadays, its crucial! The best thing that I witnessed, which hopefully could work for others, was when a grown-up made the bullies realize that they had no purpose for what they were doing. Giving perspective to the situation seemed to help, while making the bully come to terms with their actions as they can understand the victim's trouble. |
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| Reply from Jennifer Gutierrez posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Model and teach advocacy against bullying;
Were you or anyone close to you ever bullied? How did adults (parents, caregivers, teachers, directors, principals) in the situation handle it? Could any of the suggestions given in this blog have been helpful?
Yes, I was a victim of bullying when I was in the third grade. I remember I only had one friend and we both were picked on by our peers. I was bullied because I was shy and didn't talk much in class. I also had other's call me names because of my skin color. I am hispanic and as a kid I would become dark from the sun and some of the other classmates would call me dirty. When I
was being bullied I would isolate myself and it caused me to develop social interactions. I was often afraid to speak during class afraid of the other students remarks. I was able to one day tell my Grandmother who was my leal guardian that I felt I had no friends and that other people in my class would bully me. My Grandmother told me that people will be rude and that I need to learn how to defend myself and find other ways of making friends. So my Grandmother had me join gymnastics, Girl Scouts, and also a bowling league. I think this really helped me come out of my shell and allowed me to make new friendships with others rather than just from my school. I do not recall the teachers or any school members addressing the issue I had with bullying. I feel the reason no action was taken because the bullying was done minimally and out of sight of the teachers. I do not think any child should be bullied on any level and that teachers and school employees should be aware of all forms of bullying.The victim being bullied might not be physically getting harmed but mentally that child is being abused and it can effect many different developmental domains. I just recently watched a documentary on Netflix called No Bullying and it helped me to realize that children being bullied at any age suffer drastically. It also effects the family and the parents stress about their children's safety and well being. Sadly one of the children on this documentary took his own life at the age of 11 because he was being bullied. In order to stop bullying there are many factors that need to be addressed. It is also important all the school officials, teachers, and parents all work together to solve any issues. I was upset to see in this documentary that one of the schools didn't seem to help out the student that much and acted as if there was no harm being done to the child. This particular child was being bullied both physically and emotionally on a daily basis at his school and on the bus, even with proof and video surveillance the school principal, bus driver, and other school teachers didn't offer any permeant solutions to stop the bullying for this student. I do feel that there needs to be more awareness on bullying and how to solve it from occurring in the schools. I do think that the above suggestions could be helpful but only if applied to the proper situations. These suggestions also need to be reinforced over and over until they have been successful. |
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| Reply from maychee khang posted on May 6th 2013 |
| i have never been bullied before but my little brother was bullied by some one who was older than the both of us. after the incident, my older brother had to solve it by talking to the bully. after that my little brother was never bullied again. i feel that most of the methods above will work. In my little brothers situation, number 7 for problem solving was good enough to stop the bullying. |
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| Reply from Anna Truong posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Growing up I was a victim of bullying, but I was never open about it or told anyone of it. I kept to myself and just took it in without taking action. No one really was aware that I was bullied, so nothing was really done about it. I feel that if I were open about it, it would have made the situation better. It was hard not being able to have someone to vent my feelings to because knowing my family, they would have took action the wrong way. I did not want them going to the school and causing a big scene, but if I was able to have a place where the teacher let us be open and honest in real life through our dramatic play, it would have made me feel better. I personally did not like holding things in, but I only did because I did not know who to trust or what would be done about it if I had told anyone about it. If teachers were more aware or issues of bullying in the classroom and build trust and community in the classom, I feel that I would have been more willing to come to her about my feelings. I also do believe that modeling and teaching advocacy against bullying is a great thing to do because in a classroom that I was volunteering in, she made it clear that it was not acceptable to insult or bully others. One day when a problem arose with the children about being mean to one another, she had a "community meeting" and had everyone pass around the "speaking stick" so that everyone had a voice. She asked each one of the students what we all could do to be nice to each other and not fight with one another. That was truly the best thing that I have personally seen in trying to handle bullying and making it clear that it is not acceptable in any circumstances. |
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| Reply from Danielle Davison posted on May 6th 2013 |
| I was never personally bullied growing up, however my sister was cyber-bullied in high school. Around her sophomore year, there was a group of girls who were horrid to my sister. They would always make fun of her and one time they tried to start a rumor about her, but it did not get very far. However, one day I was on Facebook and I had a friend request from my sister. I knew she didn't have a facebook because my mom thought she was still too young, so I called her to ask just in case. Come to find out, these people made a facebook page for my sister where they could make fun of her on the internet. My mom immediately reported this to facebook and they immediately took down the page. My parents also notified the school to let them know what was happening. There was not anything they could do because we did not know the actual identities of the people. But I think by having them listen to us and stay on top of it, my parents even had a teacher who would call and check in. Having open communication was key. Having the school and parents on my sisters side was most helpful. |
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| Reply from Mona Dates posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Yes, I was bullied. I was about six years old and two girls took my skates and said I stole them from them. I told my older brother who was about 15 years old at the time and he talked to the girls and made them give me my skates back (well actually he scared them into giving me my skates back). I believe that option number 2 and 3 may have been helpful in my situation. I was a shy and trusting child so if I had high-quality peer friendship with the two girls we may have been able to talk out our differences or maybe they would not have picked on me in the first place. Also if I would have been more confident in my social skills they may not have looked at me as a target. |
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| Reply from Yolanda Jhank posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Yes, my son was bullied in the first grade. The way my husband and I handled it was to first talk with our son about strategies to stay away from the bully. We talked to him about using problem solving skills and social skills. We told our son to tell him to stop and that he did not like him chasing and scaring him, but when it did not stop. We went to the teacher, who talk to the boy and explain that the behavior was not ok. It had to be escalated all the way to the principle. He was very supportive and spoke with both children and parents. He listen to them and asked questions about their feels and how we should all feel safe and good at school. There was a consequence for the student. He had to miss some recesses when his behavior was inappropriate. The biggest challenge was for the boy’s parent to come to grips that their son was bulling. In the end it was found that he wanted to be my son’s friend, but lacked the social skills. He was given those social competence skills and was able to make friends with my son and other children in the classroom.
I think that the most helpful suggestions was getting the child to understand what he was doing was not right and give him better quality social skills to help him function in life. Talking about feels and what is excitable behavior and expected behavior in society is very important.
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| Reply from Kimberly Gordon Biddle posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Yolanda,
Thanks for sharing this. This is a great real-life scenario that was handled quite well. |
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| Reply from Devon posted on May 6th 2013 |
| Bullying is a serious issue for children and teens. When I was younger, I was never really bullied. I mostly kept to myself and had my group of friends that I hung out with. We also were not “popular” enough to gain the attention of bullies. However, when I was a junior in high school, there were girls in my grade and the grade above that were labeled as the “mean girls”. They would spread rumors and gossip about other girls; including myself. Sometimes it would hurt, but I always had my friends, my boyfriend at the time, and my family that would make me feel better. However, it did not seem that the teachers and principal at the school feel like this type of bullying was that large of an issue because there was no physical harm being done. This type of bullying is still damaging to a person and can cause a person to break down. Another type of bullying that is increasing is cyber bullying. Even though most often cyber bullying occurs outside of school, teachers, principals, and other adults can still stop it or at least bring awareness to it. The methods listed above would be beneficial to bring into the classroom, especially in the elementary schools. Hopefully by making kids more aware and creating safe spaces, it will decrease the amount of bullying that is done and create more students willing to stand up and put a stop to bullying. |
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| Reply from Margaret Banash posted on May 5th 2013 |
| I was not bullied as a child, but I do know someone who was. My friend was a victim of harsh bulling that lead to not only getting physically hurt but also emotionally worn down. This friend in high school was one of about 15 Caucasian boys who went to his school. He said that because of this the other cultures would gang up on him and the other Caucasian guys on a regular basis. He would come home every day very upset with some sort of new mark on his body or a piece of clothing ripped up. He did not have the strength to talk to his parents because they always emphasized on how he needed to be strong in other situations. He just kept going to school, until this one day. My friend had surgery on his hip and wrist a week prior to this incident. Some guys shoved him into a refrigerator box and pushed him down the hill. At that point he felt in danger and told his parents which then the school was informed. He was pulled out of the school and put into a school in another city. I believe that if he would have asked for help or told someone sooner he could have gotten help sooner. I also believe in the schools they need to advocate against bullying. I know for myself, in school we were never taught anything about this, and it is very important to learn. Overall i think in some situations these methods of handling bullying could be helpful. Maybe for younger children but in my friends situation there wasn't much he was about to do for himself except for speaking up. |
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| Reply from susan vang posted on May 5th 2013 |
| Yes, when I was a fourth grader I have been bullied before. As a young child, I did not like it, but I did not voice myself because I was a child that did not speak up much. I'm usually quiet in class, and when I don't like something, I don't say anything. However, no adults handled the situation because I did not tell anyone about it, which made the situation worsen. The bully always take my things, and call me names, but after my fourth grade year, the bullying stopped. For an adult to handle this kind of situation is to be ware of their surroundings around every child. I have heard of young children being bullied but the teachers , parents or caregivers did not do anything. They just tell the child to ignore the child who is bullying them. No matter how hurt that child is or how upset or how many time that child tell the adults, to handle the situation, the adults need to inform the bully' parents. In school if the teachers inform the parents and the parents do not believe that their child can do such bully thing, the principals should step up and talk to the child and the parents along with the child who is being bullied. Number 5, 6, 7, 9, and 10 could have been helpful. |
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| Reply from Cha Ia Xiong posted on May 5th 2013 |
| When I was in high school, there was this girl in my biology class that use to throw spitball at me. That class was a full class of 40+ students. The teacher was always busy helping other students. I don't know if the teacher even realized that this was happening. The teacher did not approach this issue. I should have spoken up and said something to the teacher to bring it to her concern. |
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